Give yourself the Gif
t of Presence
By Debbie Hommel, ACC/MC/EDU, CTRS
December can be one of the busiest months for the activity professional and an emotionally stressful one for many of our residents. The activity department goes into high gear decorating, coordinating events, arranging for residents to have gifts, and dealing with volunteers who all like to visit during December. December is also the month that our residents may feel the loss of home all the more. As nice as we make it, it is hard to replace the familiar holiday traditions our elders may have experienced and long for.
Through all this multi-tasking, it is hard to focus on what is happening right now – the present. Developing our ability to be present is the best gift we can give ourselves as well as our residents, but it will take some effort. The ability to be present will contribute to our own quality of life as well as strengthen our relationships with those around us. When we can stop focusing on what we need to do next and focus on the moment, the world stops spinning around us. Individuals who are adept at focusing on the moment are often more successful in their work, feel greater accomplishment for the task completed and have higher levels of life satisfaction and happiness.
Here are some thoughts regarding developing your “presence skills”:
- Take notice of your surroundings. There are so many times we go from task to task, and we don’t “see” where we are. We don’t see the changing fall leaves, hear the music playing or children laughing, or smell fresh coffee brewing. We are so focused on getting the next task done that we miss the moments. Take notice of your surroundings while waiting – waiting in line, waiting for a meeting, waiting for the copy machine. Clear your mind and breathe and feel the moment. Be present.
- See your surroundings. When talking to someone, really look at them. Don’t look behind them or through them as you think of what you are going to say in response or what task you have to complete next. Look into the person’s eyes, watch their facial expressions and non-verbal cues, and be sensitive to how they engage with the environment. Be just with that person and make that encounter the most important task you are doing at that moment. Be present.
- Listen with both ears and your heart. Hear the words but also hear the emotions of what is being shared. Don’t begin to formulate your response as the person is talking but just listen to what is being said. Be present.
- Slow down. This may seem like unrealistic advice for the activity professional at any time of year, let alone December. Finding snippets of time where you can sit in quiet, breathe in the air, and listen to the sounds around you are invaluable. The snippet of time may be when you are waiting for a meeting to start or the elevator door to open but take the time as it comes to you. Be present.
Being present in the moment is a gift you can give to yourself this holiday season. Find at least one moment a day while in the midst of decorating, wrapping, and escorting holiday volunteers. Stop thinking of what you should be doing next and focus on the current action and find joy in completing that one task or having that one conversation. It doesn’t have to be scheduled or planned; the moment belongs to you. It just has to be taken and it is yours to take. You’ll be amazed at how good you will feel.
“You don’t build a bond without being present.”
James Earl Jones